Go Easy On Yourself

Most of us are extremely self-critical. We are too fat, too ugly, too stupid, not popular enough, not good enough. We were taught that criticizing ourselves will spur us to make positive changes in our lives. But the failure of so many of our self-improvement initiatives suggests otherwise.

There is a better way. Go easy on yourself. Stop beating yourself up for the stupid thing you did 2 weeks ago (or 2 years ago, or 20 years ago). Stop looking for the things that are wrong with you, and start acknowledging the things that are right about you. Focus on your strengths. When you feel better about yourself, you treat yourself better, and you become more effective in the world.

It is also important to help others. You don't need to be Mother Theresa either. Try listening to a friend with your full attention, without judging or criticizing or relating the topic of conversation back to yourself. I know people that are so caught up in their own personal improvement plan that they are completely oblivious to everyone else around them. People get tired of hearing about you after a while, and how messed up you once were, but how you're getting better now. It's OK to love yourself, but the best way to bring your loving energy into the world is to love others.

This is especially true when you consider those less fortunate. Feeling sorry for yourself because someone dumped you 10 years ago seems so petty when you become aware of the struggle some people go through just to get their next meal (I'm talking to myself here). It's OK to be sad and process through your difficult feelings, but there also comes a time when you just need to let go. Go easy on yourself, and go easy on the people in your life.